Okay, tell me when.

I wonder if the number of divorces in this country is directly linked to people mistakenly marrying their fuck-buddies.

Just because.

Middle finger was formerly recognized as the last act of defiance, usually before something terrible happened.

Freedom is addictive.

I wonder if I’m fuckable any more.

I understand why people are so divisive, but please know we’ll all suffer together.

Thank you all for following this blog; feel free to speak up if I go too far.

Do something awesome with your lives to show that all the energy spent supporting you wasn’t in vain.

Cigarettes, just because…

No more drunk texts. Maturity.

I need to start dating again. And I will after I hit my 3-year-celibacy mark in January.

If she hits me, I will leave. Leave work early and have all of my belongings out before she returns home (reoccurring nightmare).

Every generation becomes a little more indifferent.

Witness how quickly people move on when you fall on hard times…

We can all see you picking your nose while sitting in traffic. Un-cute…

Be relentless in pursuit of a better you!

Where are the flying cars and hovercraft?

Doing laundry leaves you feeling accomplished.

Do something stupid, just for the sake of having a story later.

Huge Tree, Many Small Axes

       We’re all just plain sick of one another, right? All of these miniature universes with salty expressions strutting defiantly around the next, restraining fully charged nerve endings. Or at least that what the initial glance toward the Grand Intersection shows us. Guess we’ve never fully grasped the whole thing about appearances being deceiving.
        At this location, everything bubbles to the surface. Whether visitors are comfortable or not is unimportant. We will continue our arguments. Being polite is the stained dinner napkin; dabbed for only so long before becoming completely useless. We shout, we posture, we grit our teeth and huff. We insult, we rally, we consider resignation and we find hope in relaxed stubbornness. Until the guards are raised again as opponents reach for and doggedly hold onto old positions of mistrust and cloudy vision.
        We continue digging and flinging our finds into public space, with intent to save loved ones the heartache of this period. But understanding eases most symptoms. That is something every one of us requires even in the midst of holding hostile fronts! Understand that we all resemble the enemy to someone. Understand that we’re all right, yet all wrong. To understand another’s anger is the key to understanding why all of a sudden the masses seem brokenhearted. Shit, maybe this life truly is equal parts operating room, battlefield, classroom and hip café…

Johnny Law (a.k.a. Elroy) in this muthafucka!

      Maybe cocaine, steroids, extreme paranoia, encouraged power trips, institutionalized prejudice, freedom to act out on imagined slights without fear of consequence and unwavering confidence in a shiny metal pin is an unhealthy diet for those who’ve sworn to protect and serve the community. Just who is the big, bad wolf here? Relax, officer. Societal uprising isn’t scheduled to begin until the drugs wear off collectively and the masses realize they should’ve gotten angry centuries ago. And please, don’t shoot me as I walk away; haven’t had sex in over two and a half years and I’d like to at least get a hickey before the final bell is rang!

Let’s not. I am a headache waiting to happen…

It must bother one’s soul to know that even though it was planned to become another’s lasting addiction, you were nothing more than a passing craving. I, for one, will most likely cast stronger, more potent spells… I’m lying to you; probably keep my magic to myself. Maybe flirt a couple times a year?

I mean…

I used to want to do awesome shit; had the ambition and everything. But something happened and now I simply settle with daydreams of possibly doing awesome shit. I wait for some tough-minded woman to invade my personal space while telling me how it’s gonna be. Only then will I scrap all of my cool attire…

I feel like I could possibly lead a cultural revolution, but simultaneously be a candidate for multiple divorces. I was told to know myself.

Just sayin’…

     There’s no such thing as normal. Trust me on that! Scratch the surface of any random human being and you’ll see it’s nothing more than posture and good rehearsal. Why do you think nobody -and I do mean NOBODY- enjoys lingering stares? It’s because deep down inside, we save our quirks for those we feel comfortable with; questioning others’ normality with your eyes is intrusive on a spiritual level, people! And to stare in return is to engage in telepathic warfare! See what I mean? This paragraph isn’t normal… but if you were to spot me in public, you’d ask me to help with unloading groceries. Asking about my outlook on reincarnation probably wouldn’t cross your mind.

     Each generation sets the rhythm and tone for the following one. And I shit you not, every generation has fucked up some very important aspects of living for the ones following. I think I’m just gonna walk around apologizing to the youth from now on. Even though personally I’ve had nothing to do with war, wage gaps of any kind, shutting down of creative and after-school programs, national debt, bad fashion trends, gang culture, fuel prices, cost of living, selective aid to other nations, famine, etc… I know this list should be a lot longer! Anyone care to add more?

      My younger self said, “If it weren’t for these damn emotions, I’d be pretty close to invincible!” I’m sure I wasn’t the only feeling this way at some point. Most were taught to detach from that aspect of being just to save us from heartache or unnecessary drama. And for the most part, the conditioning has worked. Nobody feels a thing any more. Well, we pretend to not feel anything…

        That is, until we’re all alone and our feelings feast away at the walls life has supposedly forced us to erect in order to preserve all that is delicate about ourselves. If you decide to add alcohol to the mix, or as I like to refer to it, The Great Loosener - good luck with damming the powerful tides that produce lightshows containing the entire spectrum. Oh, sure, you may feel silly the next day. But the vulnerability displayed was what you needed deep inside. Thank the spirits for providing you with a moment relieving you of the same pressure figuratively weighing down on your chest at night. Why not show a little courage and let it all out?

No one cares about authenticity any more. The masses want to be high and famous; enjoying the perks of celebrity, but so outta their minds they no longer feel opinions.

Shout-out to the clueless and hateful.

     I’ve asked this before. But again, nobody reads this shit. Who really wants to be yanked from a thinly veiled illusion in which they’re always right and everything is just peachy? And everyone is treated fairly. And we actually take time to understand one another. And we give each other space to recharge and reflect. And entire communities aren’t belittled and agitated. If you happen to be reading this right now, I sincerely hope to all that exists above this plane that the sarcasm is not only felt through the screen, but smelled as well (garbage truck juice and a spritz of mop water)… looking at you America!

I’m a walking gun, overwhelmed with the weight of rounds I’ll most likely never fire. *insert unnecessary curse words*

I’ve known since childhood the best way to heal this world and fix society. But out of spite, I’m just gonna stretch across the couch and soak in existential funk. Fuck it. The battery refuses to be installed…

Horrible people do horrible things to others. Those of us with awareness and and a sense of right and wrong spend an obscene amount of time trying not to become horrible people in response.